I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Houston, we have a squirter
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
