Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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