just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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