ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
