K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Randomize
