I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
