So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
