do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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