did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
