Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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