I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
