where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
