"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
