She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
