I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
