This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
