I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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