And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
