we're blogging at a bar
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
