dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
