Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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