There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
