I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
