Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
