names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
