i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
