i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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