yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
But we have bathrooms and they dont
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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