I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
