we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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