I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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