Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
you never un-have a 4some
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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