Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
