the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
