I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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