I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
