If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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