the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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