she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
