return my video game
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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