Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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