dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
