just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
