I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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