xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
