And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
