the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
