You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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