He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
