She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
