Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
